It seems impossible! On June 5, 1983, I was ordained by the Rev. Herbert Chilstrom at the LCA Synod Assembly in Christ Chapel at Gustavus Adolphus College, Saint Peter, MN. My sponsors in this photo were Chaplain Elvee and the Rev. Joy M. Bussert.
27 years ago I entered into the Ministry of Word and Sacrament in the Lutheran Church. I'm not sure what this has to do with campfires and such only that the time at camp and around campfires shaped me and how I am as a pastor.
In my mind's eye I see these scribbled words:
"This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God." 1 Cor. 4:1
This is what my internship supervisor, the Rev. Richard Elvee - Chaplain at Gustavus Adolphus College, wrote on the Occasional Services book, a companion the the LBW. It was his gift to me at my Ordination. I had served as the first female vicar (read: campus pastor intern) in a long line of eight years of men. Elvee - that's was everyone called him - didn't want to work with a woman. He said so on that goofy supervisor profile thing that they have to fill out when they sign up for a seminarian.
Randy Nelson, the Contextual Education guy and the one who paired up rookie pastor-to-be peeps (like me) with sites and mentor-types, thought I was "the ONE." Randy was convinced that I was the one - being the first woman - to go to Gustavus and work with eccentric-Elvee. So, after meeting Elvee and me deciding I could work with him and he secretly decided that he could work with me - I went on my internship in 1981. Bob, my spouse at the time, agreed to go with me - God bless him - and he commuted to General Mills in Golden Valley each day.
I had the most amazing internship! We had daily chapel services and worship with Holy Communion every Sunday! This was the first place I had been in a worshipping community in which we celebrated the Lord's Supper weekly. I loved this! I also loved that Christ Chapel had windows all around its four long walls. Christ Chapel is shaped as Christ's crown.
This is how it's described: Glowing like a jeweled crown at night, reflecting the light of the sun in the morning, it is the Tent of Meeting for the Gustavus campus and extended family. Its walls, shaped like spires and shafts, remind us of the upward movement of prayer and the descending movement of revelation. It is a chapel with two kinds of windows, the colored panes which are the jewels of this crown and the clear glass. The light from within shines out onto the life outside, and the light from the world enters into the intimacy of worship. It is a place where we learn the subtle discipline of listening to other voices - to one another and to God.
It was the first place in which I worshipped that I could see the beloved outdoors of creation at any given time. I loved this! I came to learn along the way that church architecture became obsessed on keeping the worshippers attention focused. Well of course, first focused on God and yes, secondly on the priest presiding at the Eucharist and later on, post-Reformation on the pastor who was preaching. It was thought that windows provided a pesky distraction for those who were supposed to paying attention to the churchliness around them, not wistfully daydreaming about their gardens or the birds of the air or the lilies of the field who neither toil nor spin.
For me, it was life-giving - the windows connected the camp fire girl now grown up studying to be a pastor to her outdoor-self. In Christ Chapel we could see an approaching thunderstorm rolling in from the southwest or admire the glowing orange hues of a sunset. We could witness the change of seasons and the passing of students journeying to and fro. Here, the Church was connected with (not in flight and cloistered away from) God's created world and its people.
During my internship, Elvee was "on the wagon" (it was public knowledge that he had what folks called "a drinking problem" which he did acknowledge to me). Since he was a bit of a recluse when he was not imbibing, I was given a lot of responsibility as the vicar of Christ Chapel. I led Chapel services at least once a week and preached at least twice a month. I organized a Wednesday Chicago Folk Service complete with guitars and student leaders. I helped with the Clown Ministry Troupe and Christmas in Christ Chapel, organized liturgical dancers for Women's Week "The Woman Around Jesus" and made myself at home in the cafeteria talking to students and roamed about to sporting events and plays, to concerts and poetry readings. What great fun that was!
Elvee told me that I had to organize all the Chapel services for January (J) Term. I was quite happy and pleased to do so! It was my bliss. I also did a lot of listening to students. The Chapel secretary, my friend Jeanie Reese, who was also the secretary for the Counseling Office in which my office was located, told me years later that I was busier with students than both of the Counseling Staff folks. I loved my time at Gustavus. To this day Elvee still gruffly calls to me (and all past vicars) to get my attention - VICAR!!! Yes, Elvee - what do you need?
So much has happened in my life and the lives of those who joined me on this day twenty-seven years ago. I got pregnant on my internship. This caused quite a stir since they had never had a woman vicar and certainly never a pregnant vicar! During that internship year, Bob and I were involved in a horrible car accident on April 8, 1982 traveling to Iowa for Easter on icy roads in south of Rochester, MN. I was five months pregnant. We were both rendered unconscious upon impact as a huge car traveling north crossed the center line as Bob slammed on the breaks and turned hard right. The huge Bonneville-esque car careened into our tiny Honda Civic crushing into the driver's side door. The impact slammed Bob into the steering wheel, cracking ribs, bruising his heart, rupturing his spleen and causing other internal injuries. Bob almost died.
There by the grace of God, we were only six miles south of Rochester, home of the Mayo Clinic and St. Mary's Hospital. I have no memory of the arrival of the ambulance or what transpired as they extracted us and performed major life-saving blood transfusions on Bob. I woke up in the ER and noticed that I was all bloody and that they had cut my clothes off of me. This was - I know this sounds dumb - mildly annoying because I had just finished sewing a cute blue quilted jacket to wear with my white painter pants. They didn't know I was pregnant until they called my parents and my dad told them. It was crazy-awful. Bob was in surgery. They said I would see him later. This was the only way I knew that he wasn't dead because I could bring myself to inquire - it was too much. I had broken glass in my forehead, cracked ribs, a chipped bone and glass in my left elbow from putting my arm up in front of my head, and huge bruises across my chest and belly from the seat belt. But Matthew - my baby-to-be-born on August 31, 1982 - was miraculously fine.
Astoundingly, we healed up over time and returned to Saint Peter and the beloved community of GAC to finish my internship. I continued running (also an odd thing about the vicar and a pregnant one to boot), training to run the Bonnie Bell 10K run in Minneapolis, MN that June of 1982. Seven months pregnant, the camp fire girl, now studying to be a pastor, ran a 10K race with her friend and cross country runner, Ruthie Walker. I ran exactly ten-minute miles with Ruthie finishing in about an hour.
And so, as I reflect with you on my life, lo, these twenty-seven years later I cling to these words:
Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart.
I keep running my race - this long marathon of ministry, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of my faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross...so that I may not grow weary or lose heart.
These words keep reverberating in my soul: "who for the sake of the joy."
For the sake of joy Jesus lived, walked, moved, healed, loved and died. This is the paradox I want to live with Jesus by my side - for the sake of joy. Joy in creation; joy in ministry, joy in my family, joy - joy - joy, in spite of all the icky, ugliness of the world - let there be joy!
A voice calls out to me - VICAR!!!
Yes, God - I hear you - what's up for the next twenty-seven years?
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